First daughter in the family of three girls, Hadiza was born a promising child. Myth has it that the moon shone exceptionally bright the night she was given birth to by her mother. A superstitious belief in her clan that such a child will rise to be great. Her parents brought her and her sisters up in the way that they should go. She learnt from her parents virtues of integrity, hard work, obedience to authority, cleanliness and importantly chastity of the girl child till she is married.
Hadiza soon grew into adolescence and shocked to realise that the virtues she gleaned from her parents were alien to her peers among which she spends a better part of her school days; mornings and afternoons and sometimes weekends. As much as Hadiza tried to sell her gospel of chastity till marriage to her peers, she was overwhelmed with the mockery she got in return for reception. She couldn't come to terms with the fact that while she prided herself being a virgin at 18, a great many of her peers had lost their virginity to reckless and exuberant living as early as 10. Some had aborted by 15. Some other 'veterans' had gone the cycle twice or thrice!
Soon, instead of commanding the admiration of her peers for being a virgin at 18, she started doubting all her parents taught her as she got loads of mockery and unbearable tauntings each day. They sold her phonies such as: she will not be able to conceive on time when she gets married and ready to have children, she will not enjoy sex doing it for the first time in marriage having not 'practiced' and garnered hands-on experience, if her husband found her to be a virgin he may reject her! Under the weight of this barrage of criticism, and sadly wanting to 'belong' and be a 'big girl', Hadiza served her virginity on one wild valentine school party to one prominent Casanova. Word has it that the more experienced the man that deflowers you is, the more enjoyable and experienced one will become. Hadiza was not just deflowered but had an almost endless turns. She practically passed out in an atmosphere of wild orgy. After recovering from what almost took her life, physically and psychologically, 6 years on, Hadiza today is what you can call a corporate sex worker at her well paid bank job. For Hadiza, it is natural with her to have crush on any thing in pair of trousers (male) as she often practically throws herself at men of all shapes and sizes. All she craves for in men is sex, sex and more sex! How far can PEER PRESSURE 'press' you?
What Is Peer Pressure?
Adolescence is a time of experimentation with new identities and experiences. Responding to peer pressure is a fundamental part of human nature. Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values, or behaviour in order to conform to group norms.
Who Are Your Peers?
Your peers are people your age or close to it who have experiences and interests similar to yours, Your close friends, other kids who you know who are your age or within the range, kids in your grade, church, mosque, sports team, or community. These peers influence you by the way they dress, act, think, things they are involved in and the attitudes they show. When they try to influence the way you act or get you to do something, its called PEER PRESSURE. Peer pressure is a two edged sword- it can be positive or negative depending on the virtues or vices that your peers are impressing on you.
Peer Pressure- Challenge Of Adolescence-
As you grow older, you'll be faced with some challenging decisions. Making decisions on your own is hard enough but when other people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another, it can be even harder. As you become more independent, your peers naturally play a greater role in your life.
It is something every one has to deal with-even adults. Peer Pressure is a powerful reality and many adults do not realise its effects. In young people, youth peer pressure is one of the most frequently referred to forms of peer pressure.
Peers Influence Your Life!
Even if you dont realise it, just by spending time with you, you learn from them and they learn from you. ITS ONLY HUMAN NATURE TO LISTEN TO AND LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR AGE GROUP.
A person affected by peer pressure may or may not want to belong to groups in which they find themselves. They may also recognise dissociative groups with which they would not wish to associate, and thus they behave adversely concerning the groups behaviours. Peer pressure can have positive or negative effects- for example, if one is associated with a group of people that are ambitious and working to succeed, one might feel pressured to follow suit to avoid feeling excluded from the group.
Peer Pressure Statistics-
These peer pressure statistics are meant to act as a warning sign for parents and children. Having realistic knowledge of what is happening in society might help one become alert and probably not give in to these pressures:
1. 30% of teens are offered drugs in high school and middle school. (Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base)
2. 3.1 million American teens smoke. (American Lung Association) Of these, 25% of 17 and 18 year olds smoke daily.
3. The Kaiser Foundation states that nearly 50% of adolescents between the ages of 12-18 feel pressured into having sex in relationships.
4. Teens are infected by 4 million new STDs every year. (Allan Guttamacher Institute)
5. The National Household Survey states that the use of marijuana has risen 275% from the years '92-'97.
6. 9.5% teens have tried some form of cocaine in their lives. (Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base)
7. 32.2% teens try their first drink before the age of 13. (Adolescent Substance Abuse Knowledge Base)
8. 9% (14 Years), 18% (15-17 Years), 22% (18-19 Years) of teens experience a pregnancy every year. (Communities Responding to the Challenge of Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention)
Why Do People Give In To Peer Pressure?
1. To be liked or accepted
2. To fit in
3. Fear of being mocked by other kids should one not blend in
4. Curiosity
5. Exuberant adventure
6. The 'everyone-is-doing-it' syndrome
7. Insecurity
Gains And Pains Of Peer Pressure-
As teen you want to feel accepted and you look to your peers to gain acceptance. The effects of peer pressure can be divided into two categories; negative and positive. The positive effects of peer pressure are improving in school, increased confidence, and getting involved in other positive ventures. Negative peer pressure can cause lower grades, strained relationships, low self-esteem and poor choices.
Beware Of Peer Pressure-
So many young lives have been destroyed by peer pressure that we must ask ourselves why it is so powerful. It even overcomes the voices of conscience, reason and authority. Why? It is because relationships matter to us as human beings. You do not want to lose your friends. You do not want your friends to think you are dull or “a chicken”. This blackmails you into a stupor so that you fail to think morally, reasonably or obediently. God knows this and that is why he deliberately allows peer pressure. It is to test you, to show what you are really made of on the inside before you churn out maturity.
So, beware of peer pressure. Beware of bad friends. Beware of those two words – “Let us”. They will destroy you and send you to an 'early grave'. If you are influential on your friends, influence them in the direction of noble virtues. To influence them in the direction of damaging vices is to precipitate for yourself a season of the harvest of same. So, what kind of influence are you having on your friends? On the other hand, if you are a victim of peer pressure and are afraid of losing friends, I offer you wholesome friendship. Make effort to seek out peers with admirable virtues and Godly upbringing and a self-determined resolve to keep to same. For it is one thing to be well brought up, it is another to maintain one's good parental upbringing in one's adolescence and age of total independence as we read in the case of Hadiza in my opening story. I wish you well!
