ADAH: MY UNCLE MOLESTED ME

                 ADAH: HOW MY UNCLE MOLESTED ME

          A true life story on CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE as told by Adah(not real name). All names have been changed but the story is told in the exact words of the victim (with little omissions for protection purposes) and with her permission. Any resemblance to any other person is coincidental and not intended. I hope this story touches your heart as it did mine and open your eyes to the increase in abuse of children ‘sexually’ among us.

        My name is Adah, I live in Makurdi, Benue State, Nigeria. I am 8years old and in primary four. I was molested by my UNCLE.

I grew up to know Uncle Andrew; He is my FATHER’s YOUNGER BROTHER and came to stay with my parents after they got married.

Uncle Andrew helped around the house but mostly he took care of me. He picked me after school, taught me my homework, fixed my lunch, supervised my washing, made sure I had siesta, played and watched TV with me till my parents returned from work in the evening.

My parents sometimes travel out of Makurdi where we stay but leave me at home with Uncle Andrew because I will be well taken care of.

I really loved my Uncle; He was my best friend.

It all started while I was still 7years old. My parents had travelled very early one Saturday morning leaving me with Uncle Andrew. I wasn’t feeling too well so Uncle Andrew had to bathe me. While bathing me, he put his hand in my private part, at first he was washing it but he later put his finger in it. I didn’t think of anything because he was bathing me.

Two days later, he came to sleep on my bed, (my parents were to spend 10days out of town), you see aunty, we often sleep together especially when we have guests and they had to sleep in his room or whenever I sleep off while watching the television in his room. BUT that night was different; my uncle touched my body and sucked my breasts (I don’t even have breasts yet).

The next day, he repeated the same thing, but this time, he put my hand on his penis (it was big, strong and scary) and told me to rub it. I refused. I was scared. My uncle kept saying he will not hurt me that I was his baby. He told me it was what ‘Uncles did to their babies they really love’. He even made me put my mouth on it till something came out of it. He thanked me and told me that I was the best and he will love me forever.

In the morning, he told me not to tell anyone, because they will not understand and be jealous of our love. Uncle Andrew bought me things every time and sometimes stopped me from going to our neighbor’s house.

     When my parents came back, I told them I wanted to ask them a few things; they always said they were tired, that I should wait till the next day or ask Uncle Andrew. Anytime I try to ask, my parents especially my mother will tell me to wait till tomorrow, there was always an excuse and Uncle Andrew was always around.

  On Friday, two days to my birthday, my uncle repeated all he had been doing, BUT this time, he put his penis inside my private part. It hurt so much. I begged him to stop. I shouted and screamed but I don’t think anyone heard me. When he finished, he told me he loves me and that ‘I shouldn’t tell anyone because no one will believe me’.

That night, I became sick. My mother kept saying it was because i was scared of turning eight. My stomach, private part and legs hurt so much and it was Uncle Andrew (again!!!), they sent to buy me drugs.

The next morning, I was very hot and shivering badly, I couldn’t even stand well. My parents (didn’t travel because of my birthday) took me to the hospital. At the hospital, the doctor asked how I was feeling, when I started feeling sick and the parts of my body that ache. After I answered, the first question she asked me was if anybody had touched my private part. Before I could answer, my mother answered ‘No! She is well taken care’. The doctor asked me to go the laboratory for tests. The tests proved I had been molested, they found some whitish things (sperm) in me.

My parents cried! I cried! The doctor asked me to remove my pants, when she looked at my private part, she too almost cried. She told my parents to come and look at it too. My mother shouted, my father couldn’t look at it well. The doctor was very angry with my parents; she said it was their negligence that caused it. My mother asked me who did it to me. I told them it was Uncle Andrew.

My parents shouted ‘ANDREW!!!’ and asked why I never told them. I told them I tried and reminded them of all the times I tried to get their attention to it.

The doctor gave me some drugs and told me to rest, that she will come with a lady I will like to talk to. I got home tired but I remember my father crying and shouting at Uncle Andrew to leave the house that he didn’t want to have anything to do with him. My mother held me and cried, saying she was sorry for being too busy.

    The next day, Sunday- MY BIRTHDAY was a sad day. I slept in my parents room and I woke up to see them looking at me, am sure they didn’t sleep.

By 10am, our doctor came with a lady. The doctor says I will have an operation once the pain reduces. The lady talked to me alone (first), she made me laugh, cry, write, and hugged me. She then talked to my parents; then she talked to all of us together.

She said the first step to recovery was to let out what I feel (vent whatever emotions you may be feeling). I have cried, am tired of crying. I asked her questions too. What did I ever do to Uncle Andrew for him to do that to me?

The second step she said is to talk about it. That’s why am telling my story.

Please pray for me as I try to recover from this and protect a child next to you. Aunt Timi says, ‘Anybody can abuse/molest another, n matter the type of relationship between them’.

Thank you.